Came across this interesting article in STREATS. But don't worry, i haven't lost my faith in TODAY. just wanna know what's my competitors up to. the article reads something similar to below. *grin*

Television producers were criticised yesterday over reports that they are developing a reality show in which men would compete for a chance to father a child and then take part in an on-air "sperm race". ( think the title of the show is " MAKE ME A MUM")

In the show, which has been mooted by the company that makes Channel 4's Big Brother, up to 1,000 men would attempt to convince a woman to pick them as the father of her first child by impressing her with their intelligence, sex appeal and fitness. ( the blue pill don't work now, you can't boost your intelligence with pills instantly.)

A second sperm donor would be chosen on the basis of genetic compatibility, and the two finalists would then take part in the sperm race in which the insemination process could be filmed using new technology. ( if you guys ejaculate after mugs of beer/ alcohol, your sperm can't swim straight. and you believe this, you are nuts too.)

Brighter Pictures, a subsidiary of Endemol, is considering making the programme, provisionally called Make Me a Mum. An Endemol spokesman said details about the show's contents were speculative.

Life, an anti-abortion campaign group, said the show "sounds like prostitution".  (sounds another Anna Belle Chong thingy)

A spokesman said: "It's absolutely despicable. It's exploitation with no consideration for the child that may or may not be created. If the child learns that he or she was fathered, not out of love, but for the purposes of a TV programme, that's extremely psychologically damaging." ( if i am the child, i dunno who's my dad.)

Remy Blumenfeld, Brighter's creative director, told Broadcast magazine: "There's a tremendous amount of science to this show. It's completely fascinating. It's much more about the rule of science than the rules of attraction." ( it's completely fascinating he can think of this idea to create revenue.)

Brighter Pictures attracted controversy with a previous show, for Sky One, called There's Something About Miriam in which a group of men competed for the affections of a woman, only to discover she was a transsexual.



click on http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/3614407.stm to find out out more.

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yet another week of Mr Brown - Can't get you out of my head



Home 2004 keeps playing in my head like a CD player without a stop button

I HAVE done my National Day duty. In order to spread the joy around, I have been sharing the MP3 of the song "Home 2004" sung by the little kids with the white and black samfoos running along the river. And whoever I cannot reach via email, I hum or sing the song to them. In fact, I went one step further to the edge of insanity — I downloaded a free polyphonic (or "pornyphonic" as the voice recording pronounced it) ringtone of this National song for my mobile phone, so that everyone around me can sing along.

I figure if I cannot get the song out of MY head, I may as well help others join me in what I call the National Song virus.

Don't get me wrong. I like the song, it is quite sweet, catchy, and has an uplifting feeling to it, especially the version sung by the kids choir. But when you hear it or watch it as often as I do, you will either hurt someone with a blunt instrument or migrate to another country. Not a good reaction for a song designed to make you feel like making Singapore your "Home".

In fact, not only can I not get the song out of my head, I cannot get the video out of my head. As described on the NDP website, "4 days ... 60 hrs ... 63 kids ... 10,800 feet of film". The little kids running along the river bank, riding on an open double-decker bus, blowing bubbles, while dressed in that white and black Chinese maidservant uniform ... images that just play on and on in my head.

See? You can't get it out of your head now too, right? Good. You can join my club.

The only thing I cannot figure out is how come they keep singing to a lady called "Shirley". As in "This is home, Shirley, as my senses tell me…" She must be somebody important. By now you are already thinking I am a very cynical and unpatriotic grouch for making light of such a grand national song with those nice kids performing their hearts out. I will have you know I am big supporter of kids performing, ok?

My own daughter Faith, her teachers tell me (or told her Grandma, rather, because she and Grandpa take her to school, bless their souls), is scheduled to dance to the tune "Under the Sea" (from the movie, The Little Mermaid) at some public event in a few months time. Now, I never knew my girl even knew the song, let alone like it so much that she would dance to it. That's so typical of fathers sometimes, right?

My wife had to remind me the other day that my boy Isaac is into his third can of milk powder (apparently, he is now on mixed breast milk/cow's milk feeds). I foolishly said, "He's on formula already?" thereby revealing my utter lack of attention to matters of the childrenly kind. That earned me a firm rebuke, of course, and I had to pledge to be a better father in future.

So back to my dancing daughter, well, of course I am thrilled and gave my permission (or my wife did, and told me later). I know at the very least that she will not have any problems with stage fright, or dancing in front of a crowd. Because she generally tunes other people out. At least that sensory dysfunction is good for something.

They are going to dress her up and everything. Although I am not told if she is going as a fish or a mermaid. I am sure it will be something dignified and tasteful, like maybe a baby lobster. I hope this first taste of public performance will not give her too much pressure. The entertainment industry can be so brutal on little kids. Today it will be "Under the Sea", before you know it, she will be doing an overly adult music video with Britney Spears.

My wife is very cool about all this. Mothers are on top of everything in the household. At least the mother of my kids is (third can of formula, really?). She knows where all the kids' clothes are, their therapy schedules, their bedtime quirks.

And above all, she knows you. Well enough to look past your silliness and macho nonsense ("sweetheart, there is no need to overtake that man just because he cut into your lane").

It is just as well she accepts you so deeply, because you are, sure as heck, not going to impress her with your looks now. I was driving her to work when I noticed out loud that I forgot to shave. She looked at me and said, when I don't shave, I look like Xiao Ding Dang (Doraemon). Notice she did not say I looked like Brad Pitt in Troy. Noooo, had to be Xiao Ding Dang, a round blue and white Japanese cartoon character with whiskers.

Thanks honey, I feel like a hunk now.

Nor are you going to impress her with your car. I was thinking of fixing a fairly deep dent at the rear of my car and told her so.

She quickly said: "No lah, don't. The dent is one of the ways I identify your car in the car park." I suppose she needs it, since she cannot tell a silver Nissan Sunny from a silver Opel Astra (they all look the same to me, she says).

Nor are you going to impress her with your I-am-so-sick face. My family had a bout of fever lately (it went from daughter to father to son), and with all the dengue fever talk in the news, I got somewhat worried. So I asked my wife, what will happen if my blood tests come back and I really have dengue fever and I die from it, then she how ah?

She looked at me, gave me a cheeky smile and said: "But I will get the flat, right?"

At least I know she has her priorities in the right place.

Oh no, there's the song again. Going off in my head like a CD player without a stop button. Somebody make it stop ...

"This is home, truly

As my senses tell me

This is where I won't be alone

For this is where I know it's home"

I look at my mermaid-dancing daughter, my laptop-destroying baby son (daddy doesn't work on the living room floor no more), my Xiao Ding Dang wife and all the friends and family who matter, and you know what? I don't need a National song to tell me I am home.

mr brown is the accidental author of a popular website that has been documenting the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997. His friend Tony now officially hates him for sticking the tune in his head. Tony now hums the song without knowing it.

i was meeting a cilent at SGH( that's Singapore General Hospital for you) when something amused me the whole day. you see i was walking with this senior staff nurse D to let her boss to sign the contract, let's call her Dr C. so as we walked to Dr C's office, i noticed D was carrying a lot of things. so i offered my help. i was holding on to some x-ray files and a stethoscope. Dr C came along unexpectedly and walked with us to her office.

Now, another staff nurse S appeared, looked at her and asked Dr C if she's attending the meeting later. Dr C nodded. looking at me,

" oh we have a new cute staff today? D are you bringing him around for orientation?"

Dr C: "yeah, He's Dr Xiaoqiang( my name used in the office and was replaced with xiaoqiang to suit this blog)"

Dr C: " Dr Xiaoqiang will be assisting me in my department. He's my right hand man now."

S: "Oh, Dr Xiaoqiang. will you attend the meeting later with Dr C?"

Xiaoqiang, already in cloud nine: "if Dr C wants me to sit in, i gladly oblige" ( i can't believe i said that , so un-me)

S: " oh well, see you later at the meeting"

Dr C: " xiaoqiang, pardon our gesture of humour . you know doctors can be stressed too"

Xiaoqiang: " i absolutely understand"

Xiaoqiang still in cloud nine. however folks, your beloved xiaoqiang won't get carried away though he likes the way people addressed him as Doc.. he prefered to be called Sir Xiaoqiang, someone knighted by the Queen of United Kingdom or England. He also warns you people that those who looked like doctors, chances are that they might be insurance agents/ financial planners or salepersons.



-- I'Robot --

- Action/Adventure and Science Fiction/Fantasy
- 1 hr. 55 min.

Will Smith stars in this action thriller inspired by the classic short story collection by Isaac Asimov and brought to the big screen by director Alex Proyas (Dark City, The Crow). In the year 2035, robots are an everyday household item and everyone trusts them, except one slightly paranoid detective (Smith) investigating what he alone believes is a crime perpetrated by a robot. The case leads him to discover a far more frightening threat to the human race.

this is crap movie that provides some humour and entertainment. worth only your $6.50. And i liked the phrase, " *Argchoo~!* sorry, i'm allergic to bullshit.

got this article somewhere. but it seems like this piece of info is being shared around. kindly tell your dear ones who are driving or riding to be careful. Dun let the Goverment take back our hard earned money. for a moment i thought this info is quite detailed. it even tells you that the camera is taking pictures thought a van's side window.*wahaha* plus 2 interesting threads to read:

http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=83999

http://motoring.asia1.com.sg/cgi-bin/motorbb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=print_topic;f=7;t=001522

++

has there been a leak about where the police are likely to set up mobile speed cameras? An e-mail message has been going around, warning motorists about certain roads. But the Traffic Police feel that's not such a bad thing, if it makes drivers more careful. *or rather extra careful with their wallets. *

As these cameras are portable, they can be set up on any road. They are supported by a tripod stand and can easily be hidden from view as they are not bulky. A policeman standing anywhere along the road can operate the equipment by himself. *he probably hide in the shadow of those trees during the day or at night. those shadow that can cast a blind-spot for motorist. jeremy, if you are reading this, you know what i meant. *

Using laser technology, the cameras detect speeding vehicles and capture images of the vehicle. Police spokesman ASP Victor Keong would not say if the list was authentic. But it does help, as drivers would observe the speed limit on the roads they think have mobile speed cameras, said the Traffic Police. *does it means new techonology also means increment in road tax too? *

The commander of the Traffic Police, Deputy Assistant Commissioner Teo Kian Teck, said: 'That (sharing of information) itself is an indication of our enforcement impact. Traffic Police cannot stop them from sharing such information. If that sharing leads to better driving behaviour, we are totally fine with that. Ultimately, our aim is not to catch people but to deter them from speeding.We hope motorists will realise that speeding kills and that their time on the roads will be better spent being mindful of others rather than being focused on avoiding detection.' * somehow people tend to speed after they snail-walked past the camera. the taxi driver does that*

The Traffic Police have stepped up enforcement in the last two years. Last year, 130,385 traffic summonses were issued to motorists, compared with 106,903 in 2002. These were for offences like beating the red light and speeding. MORE SPEEDING TICKETS!!! *More paper wasted. *

From January to March this year, 13,173 speeding tickets were issued, 3,271 more than in the first quarter of last year.

Deputy Assistant Commissioner Teo said: 'We want to ensure greater compliance from motorists in their driving behaviour. The Traffic Police would like to send a strong message to road users that we are continually on the lookout for serious violators. We will not hesitate to (take enforcement action) against them and pedestrians too, as all road users need to be made aware of their actions on the roads. Their actions affect not only their own safety, but that of others. All play a part in road safety.' *All played a part to boost the economy, ways like increasing the tax?*


++

Mobile Speed Camera / Volvo Sightings / Spot checks & Mobile Camera
1) Tanjong Katong Flyover
2) Telok Blangah Viaduct. Flyover over Telok Blangah road along world trade centre.(near carribean condo)
3) Upper Changi Road, at a secluded lobang opp Singapore Expo. Blue Police van with camera taking through van's side window
4) Hougang Ave 3 towards Ang Mo kio, below the flyover
5) Upper serangoon road, opposite Serangoon Sec Sch, towards Sengkang
6) TPE just after Tampines Ave 10 exit (under the bridge)
7) Jalan Boon Lay towards AYE (Near Chartered Industries of Singapore, Jurong Point)
8) Lentor Ave
9) Clementi Ave 6
10) Old upper Thomson road, going towards Lornie Road/Toa Payoh/Braddell direction
11) Bartley Road/Braddell road (opp old outram instiute) before underpass
12) Pasir Panjang Road (between the wholesale market & PSA Gate 5)
13) Gambas Avenue towards Woodlands
14) Mandai road
15) Tampines Road adjacent to Paya Lebar airbase
16) SLE joining CTE (under the bridge)
17) TPE Sengkang exit (under the bridge)
18) KJE (Along road shoulder, near new military camp)
19) KJE Choa Chu Kang exit. (under the bridge)
20) SLE towards Woodlands Ave 2 (under the bridge or after bends)

BMW/Volvo Sightings
1) East Coast F1 car park aka Last carpark
2) TPE leading to Sengkang/Punggol also hot areas.
3) AMK ave 5 leading to Sengkang.
4) AYE (Jln Ahmad Ibrahim near to Jurong Bird Park)
5) SLE near YCK

Spot Checks / Roadblocks
1) Fort Road exit
2) Loyang road
3) Yishun Dam
4) Robertson Quay towards Havelock Road (Near Liquid room)
5) TPE (SLE direction) Hougang exit, at the HUGE bend (sat nights usually)Speed Camera
6) Bedok reservoir Exit from PIE
7) Bedok Reservoir Rd (near SAFRA)
8) Before CTE from MS
9) PIE exit to Science Centre.
10)Lorine Road exit towards Bishan
11)St.Nicholas Sec School outside the gate(The Downslope leading all the way to bishan park)
12)ECP Marine Parade Exit
13)Bt Panjang Ring road (almost once a week)
14)PIE exit to Science Centre.

how to spot a rich guy? look at the picture above. wahahah no offence to the female species.just a joke ,just kidding. but at one time i do have this impression that girls at one time were materialistic-ruled. they just appeared to me this way. if you cut open their skull, you probably see credit card, cars, diamonds, etc.. jumping/ flowing out from the brain juices. okie something cute for you girls, see below.



And look the korea's LRT. Cool~ bet you will never get to see this in Singapore. *bleah*

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another post of Mr Brown.

Why not call it Garang-polis?

With such a cool name, S'pore's elite national security agency will strike fear into the hearts of terrorists

Aug 12 is a day that many a Singaporean will be talking about over the next few weeks. It is the day that Singapore will get a new Prime Minister and I am sure that the burning question on all of our lips will be: "Aug 12 got holiday or not?"

I think Singaporeans are so used to a smooth transition of power here that we are not all angst-ridden about our futures and fates whenever we have a change in the leadership. Hence, instead of worrying about any street riots or political fights, we can focus our minds on other things, like whether the handover date will be a national holiday and whether we should buy 4D lottery with that date.

We are somewhat worried about China though. First, some of their officials called off a study trip here. Then some bankers didn't show up. What's next? Will China also recall their female tourists who have been gracing the residential heartlands of Joo Chiat, Katong and Tanjong Katong?
That would be a social disaster, because our men will lose the convenience of having, errr, company, at their doorsteps and will have to travel all the way to town. On other national news, Singapore now has a new agency to deal with transnational terrorism and it will report directly to the Prime Minister. It is called, hold your breath now, the National Security Coordination Secretariat (NSCS).

Come now, we can do better than that! We have agencies named A*Star and Spring Singapore, surely we can give our new elite agency a more kilat (suave or impressive) name than National Security Coordination Secretariat?
Don't you find it difficult to pronounce the acronym (NesCes?). It does not even have a "Polis" at the end of it (Anti-Terrorpolis?). Surely that is against the laws of nature (Law of Nature #153: Cool names must have a Polis at the end of it).
When I think NSCS, a kick-ass anti-terrorism agency does not spring to my mind immediately. I think National Sports Cultivation Secretariat or Nurturing Singapore's Community Services.

Let mr brown help you name the new agency. How about Rainbow Six? Too Tom Clancy? Ok, The Merdeka Merlions. Too much like a poorly-performing local football team? Ok, let's settle on Group of Anti-terrorism Rangers and Agency of National Gatekeepers (Garang).

And if we aim to be a hub for anti-terrorism activity, we will be the Garang-Polis.
I suggest that members of this new agency wear black to stand out from the other agencies. They can be the Men-in-Black. Oh wait, that is reserved for those guys responsible for our recent power failures (who will be punished the NEXT TIME they fail, when we make our laws tougher! NEXT TIME, they better watch out because we changed our laws!).

Ok, wear dark purple then, it's almost black. Be the Men-in-Dark-Purple. Not as catchy, but still cool.

Meet the Men-in-Dark-Purple, the men from Garang (insert cool anti-terrorism rap music here).

We need such a cool agency, of course, because Singaporeans need to be assured that their safety is of top concern (and also foreign investors generally do not like to set up shop in a country where terrorists run willy-nilly). This is all the more important as our nation is recovering from the economic slowdown. We do not want any terrorists to mess up our party. Any one of them thinking of even trying will have to deal with our Garang force (play rap music theme song again).

So, how do you know that our economy is improving? Ah, you do not need an economist to crunch some industry numbers to know that growth is back. Ask any Singaporean how they know we are growing again and they will tell you, "Growth? Of course got growth lah! Everything also grow. Property tax grow, school fees grow, and conservancy fees also grow!"

Fees in Singapore are psychic, as you all know. Even before the next quarter of growth is out, the charges we pay will already go up, in anticipation of the improvement of market sentiment.

This is so that Singaporeans need not feel the inconvenience of having any change to their standard of living, like having extra money left in the pocket if they get their next raise. The minute the post-growth salary packet arrives, the bills with the increased charges will already reach the mail box. Such is the co-ordinated timing of our fee increases.

Of course, we will be told that the charges have not been increased for a very long time or that in other countries, they charge much more. Well, we don't live in other countries, do we? And what will we get for our $2.50 extra? Cleaner dustbins? Shorter grass? Better selection of paint colours for repainting our blocks with instead of those awful pastels that look like they were chosen by a colour-blind contractor?

Ok, I should calm down, and stop ranting. Maybe go and play my new anti-terrorism Xbox game, National Security Coordination Secretariat 3: The Revenge of The Hand.
I have almost finished playing level 15, where my character is going high places if I complete my mission as Agent Lim, who has to launch a national security course for public officers while promoting public awareness.
My joystick is almost broken from the excitement.

mr brown is the accidental author of a popular website that has been documenting the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997. He thinks they should make a television series on the NSCS starring Tay Ping Hui and Fiona Xie, called NSCS: The Men in Dark Purple.

Been busy.. real busy. that's why you get no posts from me. and the same old words. i am still in the office as i am typing this. getting no life every since i joined Sales. what's day and what's night doesn't really matter now. to me it's another change of colour in the sky.

In the day, on a good day, i get nice view out from the window. with blue skys across the horizon; ships, boats roaming their way through the blue-green waters with clouds' shadows. On a bad day, it just kept on raining. sometimes you get to see part of the view is within the raining premises, it's more obvious when you look at the shadows on the waters.

In the night, i get a reflection of myself in the window. i can tell i looked shagged in it sometimes. and if i stared abit harder. i get to see strings of lights that formed by the roads. or even from ships. perhaps this is what they call working life.

in case you saw a familiar build, tall guy with neatly waxed hair in shirt, tie and pants combing FUNAN, SIM LIM, Adelphi and Park Mall these few days. no need to rub your eyes, it's me. and don't you give me that weird or wtf look. ^_^ yesh i am doing cold calls, knocking on peoples' door. trying to sell advertisements spaces. results is abit fruitful. come to think of it. it tasted sour 1st followed by sweet.

i enjoy meeting people. and this fact hasn't changed for the past few years. perhaps i appeared hostile, perhaps i looked hostile. perhaps i appeared like a iceberg that's hard to break the ice. think i need to brush up on this. and realising the fact that why females are better in sales, mainly because they can multi-task. Yes people, you beloved xiaoqiang can't multi-task.

but he's trying. and he learns a great deal about time management. he needs to get a organiser, a PDA is nice to be on the buying list. *bleah* there's time to play and work. ermm.. no time to work and work and work.

wahahah... the month is coming.. something spooky...

++

You have this friend since primary school, secondary school and after college the both of you lost contact with each other. But she is someone really special to you, and you are someone very special to her too. Five years later you receive a phone call from her.

"Hi, I'll visit you" she says.

"Hi, Jenn, when?" you ask her.

"Just wait for me" she replies.

It seems weird but you prepare for her coming anyway. One rainy night you hear a knock on the door. And you're surprised to see that it's your friend Jenn. Losing touch for five years is so long and you start talking about everything. The both of you even go to your room upstairs. Suddenly there is a power outage, but the two of you continue talking by candle-light. Then the phone rings.

"I'll just get the phone downstairs," you say.

"No, don't get it, we're in the middle of our talk," she says.

"It might be important," you say.

"Okay if you say so, but promise me you'll be back," she says.

You promise her a million times that you'll be back. Then you run downstairs to answer the phone.

"Hello," you say.
"Hello," says the person on the line. "Yeah?" you say, wondering who it is. "I'm calling on behalf of Jenn's family. They had an accident and her parents are in the hospital right now," he says. "How are they?" you ask. He continues, "They are injured but stable. But I'm sorry to say that Jenn died. We found your name and phone number in Jenn's purse..." His voice trails off as you look up at the long stairs.

WOULD YOU GO BACK AS YOU HAVE PROMISED?

++

Here's a picture of a public toilet in Switzerland that's made entirely out of one-way glass. No one can see you in there, but when you are inside, it looks like you're sitting in a clear glass box.

Would you use it?

the song playing now originally played in this teens serial Beverly Hills 90210. not sure if some of you still remember anything about it. maybe my generation or before will know about it. it's something similar to current teen drama craze, OC . it's OLD SCHOOL MAN~! some actor names might rings a bell.

Shannen Doherty .... Brenda Walsh (1990-1994)
Jason Priestley .... Brandon Walsh (1990-1998)
Jennie Garth .... Kelly Taylor
Ian Ziering .... Steve Sanders
Gabrielle Carteris .... Andrea Zuckerman/Vasquez (1990-1995)
Luke Perry .... Dylan McKay (1990-1995, 1998-2000)
Brian Austin Green .... David Silver
Tori Spelling .... Donna Martin Silver
Douglas Emerson .... Scott Scanlon (1990-1991)
Carol Potter .... Cindy Walsh (1990-1995)
James Eckhouse .... Jim Walsh (1990-1995)
Joe E. Tata .... Nathaniel 'Nat' Bussicio
Mark D. Espinoza .... Jesse Vasquez (1993-1995) (as Mark Damon Espinoza)
Kathleen Robertson .... Clare Arnold (1994-1997)
Tiffani Thiessen .... Valerie Malone (1994-1998) (as Tiffani-Amber Thiessen)

some pictures to recap...

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another post of Mr Brown's

Talking outside the box

On JULY 7, Today ran a report about a student at the National University of Singapore (NUS) whose thesis was on local politics. In it, she wrote that the people she interviewed as part of her research were scared to talk about politics. Frankly, I do not know whom this NUS girl interviewed. Most of the taxi drivers I know will gladly offer their opinions on politics, even if you don't ask. Very loudly. And for the entire ride.

I have been mouthing off since 1997, when I began writing online. So far, no knocks on the door. Though I do get a lot of email from concerned readers and requests from relatives to "be careful". I once pulled an April Fool's joke, replacing my website with a page that said: "This website is banned by Singapore proxy servers". Some people believed it. Some even wrote in, thinking I had been arrested, silenced and forced to forfeit my place in the queue for an HDB flat (the horror).

I think the authorities should help Singaporeans dispel the myths surrounding freedom of speech here. Maybe start a committee to define and regulate Out-of-Bounds markers: The Ministry of Unpoliced Zoning for Loquacious Eloquence (Muzle). They could have patrols by Muzle officers to keep the streets safe from undesirable discourse. If you said something that might destabilise Singapore, they would direct you to the Free Speech Zone.

This could be a sound-proof box at Hong Lim Park, where you could speak without hurting the economy, threatening racial harmony or undermining public trust. If you were lucky, the box might even have breathable air. The Muzle officers would also carry red flags so that if anyone crossed an OB marker, they would raise the red flag and press a button on their belt that makes a "didoo didoo!" sound.

Many of us grew up not knowing the rules of discourse and debate. Starting in kindergarten, we were taught to shut up and listen to the teacher. So we fear the Government's robust response to criticism (some would say it is not robust, it is a rugby tackle). You think the Government sucks and you say it out loud? (didoo, didoo!) Prepare to defend your position as you are going to get tackled. Should that stop you from speaking up?

Here are some alternatives. Shut up and keep your head low. Let someone else dictate the course of public discussion. Be good and listen to the teacher. Wait till the teacher scolds you and then you'll know. Or ask to start your own political party. As she is autistic, my three-year-old daughter Faith cannot speak yet. My wife asked me: "Do you think Faith will ever call me 'Mommy' and you 'Papa'"?

I said, of course she will and I believe it with all my heart. When Faith can finally speak, what will she say? And will she be allowed to say it? And if Faith ever goes to university and writes a thesis, will Singaporeans still be afraid to rock the boat? If that is the world she is going to inherit, maybe she is better off silent. I will leave you with something I read the other day.

The UN conducted a worldwide survey. The question was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure:

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America, they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the United States, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And in Singapore, they didn't what "opinion" meant.

mr brown is the accidental author of a popular website that has been documenting the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997. He is still waiting for Faithie to call him "papa" and hopes that she will grow up unafraid to speak her mind.

saw a few old school stuff. and the radio above is just one of them.^_^ Radio is just too small a word for the Tivoli. Even THE radio, is somehow not enough. In the USA, the name Henry Kloss is an audio industry legend, and the Tivoli is the result of 40 years of his genius. It's a technical and aesthetic marvel, featuring discrete component technology never before used in FM radio, making it capable of pulling in more radio stations than many (frankly most) other hi-fi tuners.

It's beautifully small, gloriously simple, and the sound is, well so astonishingly perfect you'll want to eat it (though please don't). Yet it's mono. Huh? i stood there scratching my heads and going errr a lot. How can it possibly sound so mind-blowingly fabulous and be mono? the salesperson went, " Well it has a custom built, heavy-duty, long-throw drive unit allied to a multi-stage frequency contouring circuit providing remarkable clarity and dynamic range". So i still went eh? Because i've no idea what that means. the salesperson went, "But we've chucked out the stupidly huge and over-designed ghetto blaster we use in the office, and replaced it with this mini marvel that so exquisite and perfect, it almost makes you want to cry. "

US friends please note you will need to buy an electrical adaptor and transformer for this product (UK mains power is 240V and US mains power is 120V, and thus you need a transformer to adapt from one to the other). fortunately these can be bought very easily (and i was told, very cheaply) from your local electrical store. *grin*

would you kiss a HIV-infected patient? someone whom you don't even know. would you?

not in any lives of mine. even if science proven that AIDS virus will not transmitted through physical contact. bet the celebrities will wash their lips with dettol, rinse with sulphuric acid and lasered their skin with UV-rays. not that i am scastic or biased against such patients. but you gotta be responsible for your own body. remember prevention is better than cure.

another discovery( see article below) found along shores northeast from our land. * clap clap...* new discovery means new hope means another unexplored medicine field. hopefully...maybe medicine for the virus mentioned above. *sigh*




++

Dozens of new species of marine life found


(picture not related to Strait Times article.)

MANILA - An intensive study of marine life off a small island in the central Philippines has possibly yielded dozens of new species of crabs, shrimp and other sea creatures.

Senior Professor Philippe Bouchet of France's Museum National d'Histoire Naturelle said the six-week study off the shores of Panglao town in Bohol had found numerous species possibly not recorded before.

The Panglao Marine Diversity Project 2004 study brought together 60 scientists from 17 countries, armed with diving, dredging and trawling equipment.

Prof Bouchet said many of the new species of crabs, nudibranchs and microshells they found were very small, with some only 1mm long.

Among the largest of the new species is a crab whose shell is so well camouflaged that observers thought it was just a rock, he said. -- AFP
++

i came across this email which my friend sent. it's actually a jpeg picture with chinese characters. it's a story. another love story. another bewail story. i will try my best to translate in english.

but my friend, if you are reading this now. you gotta make a choice. i know and understand it's a difficult for you to tell her. to tell or not to tell. but you got to know that you have to pay for the consequences yourself. to tell, to let her know of your feelings. eventhough we always say girls have this extra sensitivity that she can tell/think that you like her, you still have to tell her. make that statment. not to tell, you will just gonna see her happily with her bf. are you able to take it? is she worthy? are you happy? are you really happy when she is happy? perhaps telling her and let her make the decision for you?


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Singapore True Love Story - Lion Hearted



"...You may met alot of people that likes you but you might not met someone you really loved. cherish it if you met one...."

i will always rememebred this is what you said to me. it was secondary one when i first met you. back then, you were always running around like a over-hyperactive athlete. to me, you are like a little brother eventhough it's always you taking care of me.

Remembered once, when i broke into tears when the seniors scolded me; you being smaller in size than me, fought with them fearlessly. you made me cried even more when your face was swollen. i asked why you react this way. you smiled and said you protected me because i am a girl. but you never protect yourself.

Sec. 2. you like to doodle in the midst of lesson. you always refused to show me when i asked to see your drawings. you said you will show me when you improve in your drawings. one day i took a peep in your textbook and was astonished. the whole book was full of drawings of the back of the same girl. but somehow, she looked like me.

Sec.3. i had a boyfriend. you often smirkly tease me that i will fail in my exams. one day unknownly, i reprimanded why don't you get a girlfriend too. you smiled and said you don't know. you will tell me when you thought of one. before i could questioned further, you've turned and left. and i realised you have grown so much taller than me when you walked away.

We entered into different JCs. you said we still can be friends despite different schools. you always called me after every sememster examinations and chit chat till wee hours. even when i have a tiff with my boyfriend, you will be on my side and scolded him. talking with you has become one thing i longed for.

I seldom met any of our secondary school friends but for unknownly, i often met you regardless at the gate or the bus interchange. whenever i asked why i saw you coincidence-tally, you always replied, perhaps it's fate. and even if it's fate, it doesn't explained why i saw you sitting/ resting at the bustop in noon and saw you again at the same spot after shopping till late evening. you just grined and said hey, met you again.

7th Oct. you never fail, never forget that it's my birthday. you will punctually arrived at the gate, gave a surprise present and wished me happy birthday. when i asked when you arrived. you always smiled and said just. but why you always just arrived at the gate whenever i asked.

Nov in the same year. i broke up with my boyfriend. you almost wrote to me even i didn't reply a single one. i asked why, you only smiled and say, nothing, just bored. the probability of me "bumping into you" went up too. i asked why, you shrug, smiled and said, guess it's fate.

Christmas that year, you dated me because we have no one to celebrate with. i agreed. but my selfishness got over me when my ex-boyfriend came looking for me. i kept apologising that i stood you up from 6pm to 11pm. you only smiled. and you gave me the present and left after you saw my ex behind me.

since then, i don't bump into you "unknownly". i don't received your calls. i no longer see your trademark humoured grin. i only received a letter from on 26th Dec that says, You may met alot of people that likes you but you might not met someone you really loved. cherish it if you met one. and you tried to cherish but now you gave it up.

it was year 2 in uni when i received your call again. our uni was just next to one another. you said, we will be friends forever. we went back to our old days again. but you never knew it i have fallen. you never knew i did not went back to my ex back during christmas. but i knew you already had a loving girlfriend.

upon graduation, you chose to lab research. i went aboard to further my studies. i only told you there's also me loving you before i left. you didn't hold me back. you only grined and said, i don't love you, and you are just a passerby in my life. else i would have chose you then. but what you didn't know is that when i realised whom i loved, he has left.

i decided to marry my boyfriend whom i met in states. you turned up on the wedding day itself. someone like you who have never left the country actually turned up on my wedding and said, just feel like coming to states.

my heart got mixed up and i started looking all over for you before the ceremony. you were nowhere to be seen until i saw a familiar back figure under a tree. this was the 1st time i saw you crying. i ask why. you ignored me and didn't reply, you just kept crying. it was only when i kissed your tears and you whispered.

"...nothing, it's just that... i love you."

caught this movie with my friends. frankly speaking, i find that part one is so much better in actions and effects. this part two is more like a identity and personality searching for Peter Parker whose torn between the facts of love and his heroic sting in him. and of course Mary Jane who once again playing a support in his upbringing to become the real spidey. i just like the violin player. *grin* and my friend cover her eyes with her hands when something excites her during the movie. u beg she will scream at home if she watches other movies.



and also not to mention that the ending part was a kind emotion poke for me. the part where Peter Parker decided to become spidey and he has to leave MJ cos he's afraid that his enemies might get back to him using MJ. MJ was getting married when he choose Peter over the astronaut after she found out Peter is spidey. she said something like let her make the decision to be with Peter and face his enemies together. aww~ so sweet. imagine the whole idea of a man and a woman facing a problem together.

i'm sorry, eightytree. after i read your latest post. below is a funny chain mail and a picture i've got. hope you will enjoy. and don't worry too much, there's plenty of pebbles lying on the beach. you will pick the most beautiful one the shines under the rays of the sun. ^_^ kekeke..



++

this chain mail is too funny not to send out...

To all my friends, thanks to you for sending me chain letters in 2004:


I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.

I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens they contain may turn me gay.

I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.

I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.

I think I'm turning gay because when I go to parties, I don't look at any girl no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...

I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.

My Ericcson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.

But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain that I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse from hell. IMPORTANT NOTE: If you send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will crap on you today at 7pm. I swear to God.

++

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another week of Mr Brown.

The sad lot of adult gamers
They can only get their kicks when the wife and kids are in bed.

I AM thinking of starting a new charity to help individuals who have been sued by a charity. I am thinking of calling it National Kena-Sued Fund.

Ok, ok, joke only, ah? Joke only. You can put down your lawyer hotline phone now. I will now go back to discussing safer topics, like how to make fun of Singapore politicians, or how to light your fart with a flame or how to tell your wife she is fat.

OK, maybe something safer than that.

One of the secrets to a lasting marriage, I recently discovered, is that you need to be quick about noticing the little things about your wife. Like when she just had her hair done.

The correct res-ponse, is, of course, to say: "Wah, cut and rebond your hair, ah? Looks good, makes you look slimmer, sexier and younger."

The best time to say this is preferably as soon as you can, like maybe 30 seconds after she left the salon and came home. Try not to notice three weeks later. It will dilute your effort somewhat.

The incorrect response is to say: "$200? You spent $200 on your hair? My haircut cost me $10 at that 10-minute place. What did they use — scissors made of gold?"

There is no good time to say this. Trust me. Saying this at any moment, be it 30 seconds or 30 years after the event, will only cause pain and misery to you and your sex life. It will be brought up every time you fight, or every time you buy your latest Xbox game. And you will always lose.

So if you want to still come home with your latest Macho Commando Warriors game, you had better learn to encourage her wise, er, investments in her hair. And shoes. And clothes.

We adult gamers are a sad lot. We can now afford the games we like, but we now cannot get away from work, to play them.

Having a family also makes it harder to game. Usually, the Married-with-Kids among us have to wait till the wife and kids are in bed, before we can play.

I mean, there is no feasible way you can effectively assault a band of terrorists entrenched in a building with your elite team of soldiers when you are trying to fight off your daughter yanking at your controller cable.

Sometimes, I steal a game or two while the missus is taking a bath. Having a console means I can turn the thing off quickly when she is done, something I cannot do with a PC without damaging it. You can tell I am a very well-trained Stealth Gaming Husband/Father.

I own a Sony Playstation 2, a Mac iBook, a fairly souped-up PC (used as a doorstop) and two Xboxes. The official reason why I have two Xboxes is that I wanted one in the room so that I can play away from the kids.

Unofficially, I was "Tony-ed". Tony is a good buddy of mine who had the dubious honour of being the first guy in my gaming circle to have his Xbox console banned by the Xbox Live online gaming service. When you are detected with a modified console, it gets sent into digital exile. In his honour, we named this banning process after him.

So now I have a second Xbox — without any modifications — and a bunch of original games, so that I can continue playing with my friends online in my underwear.

Playing online is a great way to make friends. I introduced a friend from one circle of card gamers to my Xbox friends from the office. So, he is now part of our merry band and everyone knows his name, even though they have never met him in person.

So, fellow adult gamers who are married, remember my advice if you want to continue making friends and playing games.

The next time the wife starts to chide you for spending time and money on your games and second Xbox, tell her: "But honey, I don't smoke, I don't drink, and gee, your hair looks really good today. Here's another $200 to buy some shoes to go with that great hairdo."


mr brown is the accidental author of a popular website that has been documenting the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997. He thinks there is nothing sadder than a gamer who has to excuse himself from the digital battleground because "my wife wants to watch the plasma TV"

gotten this bit of story in a email. I was amazed when I read this story and started wondering about relationships between animals and human beings. talk about intelligence. In modern times, our access to information/ telecommuncation becomes faster, but the distance between human beings . . . is it getting closer as well?

++

This is a true story that happened in Japan.

In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan tears open the wall. Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls. When tearing down the walls, he found that there was a lizard stuck there because a nail from outside hammered into one of its feet. He sees this, feels pity, and at the same time curious, as when he checked the nail, it was nailed 10 years ago when the house was first built.

What happened?

The lizard has survived in such position for 10 years! In a dark wall partition for 10 years without moving, it is impossible and mind boggling. Then he wondered how this lizard survived for 10 years without moving a single step--since its foot was nailed!

So he stopped his work and observed the lizard, what it has been doing, and what and how it has been eating. Later, not knowing from where it came, appears another lizard, with food in its mouth.

Ahh! He was stunned and touched deeply. For the lizard that was stuck by nail, another lizard has been feeding it for the past 10 years... Such love, such a beautiful love! Such love happened even with this tiny creature ... What can love do? It can do wonders! Love can do miracles! Imagine? it has been doing that untiringly for 10 long years, without giving up hope on its partner.

Imagine what a small creature can do that a creature blessed with a brilliant mind can't.


++

i'm not sure if this happens to you or your surroundings. if it is and i'm not awared of it. my apology. to me, they all have become angels looking out and over each individual you whom you might related to. my deepest condolences too. unfortunately, i can't find songs from City of Angels OST. relatives of many friends of mine seemed just joining the old man up there. the newspapers offer local news also features alot more. it sounds like there's a major recruitment up there, for any reasons he can offer.

maybe he can offer more thinking juices into those bummers. offer some nuts and screws for those who still waiting for money to drop from the skies and sloth around at home. offer some hooks or spades to dig those who thinks the earth revolves around them. offer hell to those who should be terrorise. c~mon people. wake up wake up.

for those who have a religion, this is not a issue to shoot or to argue about. i apologised 'cos it's just a random thought of mine. the picture above is done by me. if you look closely, you might able to tell there's a few duplicates in it. clue : 3 duplicates.

read an article on sunday. the headlines went, "China hookers are now in your neightbourhood". now now, these women has come all the way to spoil market. firstly, they are spoiling the market for those who trade sex for money. meaning those licensed pros along geylang areas. i swear that now that there are competitors who slashed prices or who offered service at your doorsteps, the singapore economy will take a longer time to pick up. meaning the money is flowing out of the country making other people rich in their country based on the WOW exchange rate for our currency.

with this issue of china hookers, a couple of my friends are already mistaken for hookers. this is bad. it's bad for the foreign students. it's bad for those who came to pursue a career, not hookers. not that i detest hookers. 'cos i know they had reasons why they went to trade sex for a living. no one is ever willingly to do that. but there's a image on them or rather on my chinese friends, ruining chances or opportunity to learn, to find lodging or even to eat. it tramautised people.

which brought up another question. are there many buyers? it's like they don't sell if there are no buyers. or they( singapore ah peks, or hum sam lows) don't buy if there are no sellers. this is confusing. maybe it's time to educate some people.

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hereby i thank all of you who sent your most loved wishes, be it pre, actual or post wishes. i really appreciated all of you. thank you. but i must highlight this. 'cos this is one of the most unusual present i received all this years. have you guys received presents that is different from the usual stuff, like toiletries, clothes, bla bla bla... yesterday( my actual birthday)i was walking past this childrens' pool. this little girl was playing by herself in the waters, spraying and splashing. she was singing " happy birthday to you~..." eventhough i knew she wasn't singing for me, it just feel so sweet. (^.^)

anyway, went to Pebbles's shop opening at Tekka Mall. wah~ you should see the racing track in the shop. with flyovers. and karaoke at PartyHouse after that. as most of you know, i don't sing. but for the sporty sake, i played along with the rest; nigel, dickson, jon, pebbles, ashley & kelvin( a.k.a wang). I say why don't we start a Pebbles Fans Club?? wahahha you guys should check her vocals man. she could be the next canto pop queen after sammi~ whahahaha.

Heard this song at Wala walas after so long. had a extremely feel about it so i decided to do a picture. wahahh. though not very well done. * bleah* when i 1st heard it, it was in my friend's car.we went for a spin on a weird weekday night. can't remember which day but it came on his CD player when we were on sheares bridge hitting towards the road where you have one of the best night view of singapore skyline. i tell you. it feel so shiok when the windows were wind down and the music came on.

but it was a sad song. the lyrics is on the right.

and bro, if you are reading this. and you were still brooding over the matter. let me accompany you for another spin.

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Late article of MR BROWN.

Get off your butt – your nation needs you

I would like to apologise for an earlier column in which I said people living in Bukit Panjang and the western parts of Singapore were living in ulu (backward) estates.

In Tuesday night's power failure, which affected 300,000 households for up to two hours (up from 80,000 for slightly over an hour in April), my Lorong Ah Soo estate was one of the last to have power restored, at slightly after midnight.

Don't like that, lah. Just because I said Bukit Panjang was ulu, this time when most of us got hit, you guys turned on the turbine for my estate last, right?

As usual, I was on the road this time, too. Blackouts like to happen when they know I am going to be driving. Just as rain likes to wait for me to wash my car before coming down in buckets.

My wife called to inform me of the power outage and, as the captain of our home's volunteer Civil Emergency Force (current membership is five: Papa, Mama, Faithie, Isaac and Auntie Cecilia), I instructed her to begin "Operation Look-for-a-Torch".

We knew the drill, having learned from the previous "Blackout of the Non-ulu West". My wife knew where to find most of the torches I kept in the house and also knew to activate my battery-operated fish pump.

Even the fish were trained to breathe less air during a power failure, and to turn off all electrical appliances in the tank.

Before I got home, I made a small detour to Mustafa, bless their open-all-night souls, to buy extra lamps and batteries. Together with half of Singapore, it seems.

And on the way up the stairs of Mount Lorong Ah Soo, the Teasing of the West began.

"Haha, Lorong Hsu so ulu one!" came an SMS from friend Chandra. It must have been dark, which explains the misspelling of the name of my estate.

I'd just like to add that Chandra has Bollywood-star good looks and lives in a very hip part of town — Bukit Batok (don't ask me where that is, I am not that hip).

In addition to all the SMSes flying around, people started phoning the police, jamming the lines.

What for? Did you get mugged? No. Did someone try to steal your big-screen TV? No.

Oh! You just wanted to tell the authorities! Why? Scared the police didn't know, ah?

Constable Tan: "Eh, Sgt Ahmad. Look outside, everything black-black one. And our police post also no power, leh. You think got island-wide blackout or not?"

Sergeant Ahmad: "No, lah, Constable Tan. Don't so fast jump to conclusion. Wait for the public to call first, then we will know if really got power failure."

Early radio reports stated that the cause of the power plant's failure was a disruption of the natural gas supply from Indonesia.

I know what a lot of you were thinking when you heard that.

"Wah, must be those Indonesians, lah. How come their gas so unreliable one? Next time we don't buy from them, then they know. Report them to Case or something."

It certainly sounded like the disruption was from the Indonesian end, based on the reports heard that night.

Now we are told that the Indonesian gas supply was disrupted because of the tripping of a valve on Jurong Island.

"Wayyyydaminute … Jurong Island … sounds familiar. And doesn't sound like one of the 17,000 islands that make up the Indonesian Archipelago, leh."

That's right, Sherlock, the disruption happened at OUR end, with OUR valve.

I reckon someone must be held accountable for this, a very senior valve at the very least. The valve that was supervising the tripped valve, maybe.

Of course, we know that the valve that tripped did so for safety reasons, and the main problem was that the backup systems at the three affected plants failed to switch over quickly enough to the backup diesel mode.

I say we cut the pay of these guilty power turbines for not switching over fast enough. Maybe also deduct some leave.

I was surprised to learn that we rely so heavily on natural gas, and overseas gas at that (foreign talent?) for our power needs.

In the light of this disaster, we should think seriously about creating our own natural gas supply instead of relying on the gas fields of others. And there is no better source of natural gas than our own people. We may have very few natural resources, but we do have our people.

That's right, gentle reader. It is time that we come together as a nation: Save gas, fart in a jar.

It's not that far-fetched, if you think about it. Look, we already drink Newater, which is recycled from waste water. So why not begin a programme to recycle our own gas?

We could use modern technology to convert the collective gas of a nation into usable energy. The first stage of filtration would probably involve removing the smell.

Still not convinced? Did you know that human fart contains methane? Yes, it is actually flammable.

Please do not attempt to prove this in the unscientific confines of your home. The waving of a naked flame in the region of one's butt to see if a fart will really ignite should only be done by trained scientists and qualified stunt-people.

I reckon if you could compress the collected flatulence, it would become liquid and thus storable in LPG tanks. Then the gas could be ignited to fire our power plants!

And we could call this new form of natural gas, Newgas! We could even make the Newgas factory a tourist attraction, to show the world that Singapore's success is fuelled by its people's organic resources.

Get your jars ready, citizen, your country needs you.


mr brown is the accidental author of a popular website that has been documenting the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997. He is glad there wasn't a need to start force-feeding his kid the thawing breast milk in the fridge.

been out of action for a while or it's just 2 days. * hmmmm~* 1st day at work. a pretty hard time handing over and taking over new job scope. especially now with more eyes looking at you. because of my ex-job in customer service( the end-of-line job) whereas this sales job is the front-of-line. there's a virtual pressure coming on. i know it's good to have pressure. and it really got me excited, not orgasmed. but people are waiting to see results, positive results after all, " i'm assumed you knew about this" this phrase is hanging on their mouth. i didn't realised this pressure till one of the colleague told me about it. she mentioned that alot of people is looking at me. not just the normal sales colleagues but also the big bosses and the support groups. it pays when you are in good cahoots with all these people. soon people, soon you will see me in formal. i know i look weird and i need to look professional. and i am going to find out am i ready or if there's such a worth for me. talking and typing all these got me just excited. * bleah* i need time to get use to wearing formal.

Below are some pictures taken from Candice's xanga for jon's birthday last saturday. to all CARNIVORES, here's another hangout. Handle's Bar, next to St Andrew JC. an totally american style cum Harley Davidson freaks idea restaurant/ bar. guys, and i mean guys, male species, you really have to check out the toilets deco. we really had a good time there except randomly there's extra ingredients in the food i.e. falling leaves. yeah we were in the open.