i'm sorry, eightytree. after i read your latest post. below is a funny chain mail and a picture i've got. hope you will enjoy. and don't worry too much, there's plenty of pebbles lying on the beach. you will pick the most beautiful one the shines under the rays of the sun. ^_^ kekeke..



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this chain mail is too funny not to send out...

To all my friends, thanks to you for sending me chain letters in 2004:


I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.

I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens they contain may turn me gay.

I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.

I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.

I think I'm turning gay because when I go to parties, I don't look at any girl no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...

I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.

My Ericcson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.

But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain that I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse from hell. IMPORTANT NOTE: If you send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will crap on you today at 7pm. I swear to God.

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another week of Mr Brown.

The sad lot of adult gamers
They can only get their kicks when the wife and kids are in bed.

I AM thinking of starting a new charity to help individuals who have been sued by a charity. I am thinking of calling it National Kena-Sued Fund.

Ok, ok, joke only, ah? Joke only. You can put down your lawyer hotline phone now. I will now go back to discussing safer topics, like how to make fun of Singapore politicians, or how to light your fart with a flame or how to tell your wife she is fat.

OK, maybe something safer than that.

One of the secrets to a lasting marriage, I recently discovered, is that you need to be quick about noticing the little things about your wife. Like when she just had her hair done.

The correct res-ponse, is, of course, to say: "Wah, cut and rebond your hair, ah? Looks good, makes you look slimmer, sexier and younger."

The best time to say this is preferably as soon as you can, like maybe 30 seconds after she left the salon and came home. Try not to notice three weeks later. It will dilute your effort somewhat.

The incorrect response is to say: "$200? You spent $200 on your hair? My haircut cost me $10 at that 10-minute place. What did they use — scissors made of gold?"

There is no good time to say this. Trust me. Saying this at any moment, be it 30 seconds or 30 years after the event, will only cause pain and misery to you and your sex life. It will be brought up every time you fight, or every time you buy your latest Xbox game. And you will always lose.

So if you want to still come home with your latest Macho Commando Warriors game, you had better learn to encourage her wise, er, investments in her hair. And shoes. And clothes.

We adult gamers are a sad lot. We can now afford the games we like, but we now cannot get away from work, to play them.

Having a family also makes it harder to game. Usually, the Married-with-Kids among us have to wait till the wife and kids are in bed, before we can play.

I mean, there is no feasible way you can effectively assault a band of terrorists entrenched in a building with your elite team of soldiers when you are trying to fight off your daughter yanking at your controller cable.

Sometimes, I steal a game or two while the missus is taking a bath. Having a console means I can turn the thing off quickly when she is done, something I cannot do with a PC without damaging it. You can tell I am a very well-trained Stealth Gaming Husband/Father.

I own a Sony Playstation 2, a Mac iBook, a fairly souped-up PC (used as a doorstop) and two Xboxes. The official reason why I have two Xboxes is that I wanted one in the room so that I can play away from the kids.

Unofficially, I was "Tony-ed". Tony is a good buddy of mine who had the dubious honour of being the first guy in my gaming circle to have his Xbox console banned by the Xbox Live online gaming service. When you are detected with a modified console, it gets sent into digital exile. In his honour, we named this banning process after him.

So now I have a second Xbox — without any modifications — and a bunch of original games, so that I can continue playing with my friends online in my underwear.

Playing online is a great way to make friends. I introduced a friend from one circle of card gamers to my Xbox friends from the office. So, he is now part of our merry band and everyone knows his name, even though they have never met him in person.

So, fellow adult gamers who are married, remember my advice if you want to continue making friends and playing games.

The next time the wife starts to chide you for spending time and money on your games and second Xbox, tell her: "But honey, I don't smoke, I don't drink, and gee, your hair looks really good today. Here's another $200 to buy some shoes to go with that great hairdo."


mr brown is the accidental author of a popular website that has been documenting the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997. He thinks there is nothing sadder than a gamer who has to excuse himself from the digital battleground because "my wife wants to watch the plasma TV"