November 14, 2004
10 years...
Something's wrong with blogger. i was struck twice in this bug of theirs, making me wondering should i change my Blog service provider. should i consider livejournal? Xanga? or some other free blog provider. but i also reckon that based in the this time of the year. i wouldn't have much time to blog either. or i should re-create one myself.
i've moved on from telling souls what am i doing for the day to a columnist; to a cynic and procasinating; to general stuff and reflections. i figured long time ago that it's my right to say what i wanna say in this blog, 'cos it's rightfully mine. and be a entertainer online for god-you-know-who is reading it across oceans and mountains. at the end of the day, it might just be friends checking on you since everybody is busy about their lifes, not able to open a time slot in their PDA to catch up with you. no wonder one said as you grow older, you have lesser friends.
things differ when you have different bunch of friends. one bunch laid-back, another party-animals, another schooling-dwellers. or is it another transition after i been through one when i was 21. seriously, it wasn't that easy when most told me 20s is the best time, prime time of your life where you are legally to do everything. and try everything without the fear of failing. commitments played a big part in me now. for a moment, i felt i can't let time running away just like that. take it easy, you might say. no lor, especially you get people slapping you with reality. "LOOK!!! you got to think about this." or "it's a project.....we need some plans...and maybe a contingency plan... "
the next question is whether am i acting my age.
depends on who's the audience, i sounded too mature to some and i sound kiddish to many. It was nice of gerry to say i don't look like my age when i cut my hair. yesh, dickson and i shared the priviledge of looking young, despite our age. not that we are old but maybe seriously we should sit down and think about how we want to live for the next 10 years.
am i just getting paranoid. HA!
something i qoute from Viventi -
"We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, an hour, an afternoon. But that doesn't diminish its value. Because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives."
you know...when it all boils down to it...all this thinking is pointless because it just is. i mean, in the big picture, it is so miniscule - at least, most of the things we are really worrying about. i mean, of course, not to say that we shouldn't worry period because that would cause us to be super lazy or something crazy-bad like that...
it's thanksgiving break - which means for most people, a time to eat turkey. but for me, it's always a time to take a step back and evaluate things and how lucky i am. lol. guess if i'm not stressing about school, i'm trying to be profound and gain a foothold on life and what it is "supposed" to be :)
hope it's going well...
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