i wished i own one of such camera. candid shots. real shots. those shots that tells bush( pronounce bullshit in 0.1 seconds) or carry thingy whether they are crap or wayang( army context for acting). and you never know when somebody take a picture of you digging nose like above. our president of the sleeping giant is pretty exhausted from managing 1 Billion and more people. then again, it's only human to do such things. who don't fart in the public.

the shots remind me of times at TP during orientation period. when i was pretty bored in the auditorium control room, i will scrolled and sniped at people who's stretching their neck muscles with their eyes closed, mouth half/wide opened; self-indulge in fingering with their nose for pleasure or reading a book in extreme dim lightings. let me tell you, the fun and thrill comes when they see( if they are awake) themeselves on the projector screen. wahahha *evil laugh*

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another friday column of Mr Brown - iPod, uPod, lah ... iCool, u ... well ...

JUST when you thought you have joined the ranks of white iPod coolness, Apple decides to make black the new white.

Witness the U2 Special Edition iPod, in black. Suddenly, my white iPod doesn't look as cool anymore. And iPod accessory makers everywhere are tripping over themselves to make black iPod accessories.

Like screaming girls in a shoe shop sale, we geeks gathered around the computer screen of one of our own, "Ah Beng", as he ordered the black digital music player without blinking an eyelid, his renovation budget be damned. Mission one: U2 iPod ordered. Mission two: Figure out how to tell the wife-to-be that the walk-in shoe cabinet will have to wait till the next bite of the HDB cherry.

Marketing genius, I tell you. People don't shell out the bucks because they want an extra gigabyte or two, or they want an FM radio thrown in. People buy what looks appealing and what makes them look appealing. You can't wear an extra gigabyte, but you can show off white headphones.

I think Apple should go the whole hog with this. Let's see a PAP Special Edition iPod. If the Men in White can party at Zouk, they can have an iPod named after them. It will be white, of course, and the lightning logo will go nicely over the iPod's round jog wheel. You can have the PM Special Edition, SM Special Edition, and the MM Special Edition, all autographed by the relevant minister.

Included in the package would be mp3s of all that minister's speeches, for your leisurely listening. Cool, right? However, I don't think Singaporeans can ever be totally cool, even carrying an iPod, if we never learn to dress appropriately.

What's up with the shorts and slippers every where we go?

Sure, the weather here is hot as heck, but surely there's a place for shorts and a place for long pants? I don't care if you are the whatever vice-president of whatever leading company that designs and manufactures whatever high-tech products. Dress right to be treated right.

Some guy wrote in to the paper not long ago to complain about how some restaurant at Ritz-Carlton Millenia hotel made his friend, a vice-president of some big company who wears shorts every where, put on some baggy long pants provided by the hotel, because that restaurant has a dress code.

And it became some kind of anti-colonialism letter because later, other ang mohs who wore shorts were not turned away or made to wear restaurant--provided pants (apparently, the restaurant ran out of stylo long pants, they only had four).

Come on, lah. First of all, why you have to write in for your friend? Your vice-president friend cannot write in himself, issit? And if he is so accomplished, surely he knows that the clothes maketh the man. Your vice-president friend doesn't wear shorts to work or to meet clients, does he? Of course not, because his staff and his clients will think he is an unprofessional slob.

So, now it's okay to be an unprofessional slob outside of work?

The only thing the hotel seems to be guilty of is not having enough long pants (four is hardly enough for ultra-casual Singaporeans). So please go and buy some more, and maybe in a few more colours and styles. Get some formal leopard print ones too, I heard those are "in".

I have seen Singaporeans wear shorts and sandals to church (my God is very casual one, He won't mind) and other places of worship. I have seen them go to high-end theatre events without even a tie..I have seen jeans (Singaporean's definition of "smart-casual") at weddings and gala dinners too. Why dress up? I am not the groom or the bride, what!

Maybe we should just make shorts the national dress. Next National Day, everyone could show up in T-shirts, shorts and sandals, because it can get really hot on National Day Parades. Our leaders can sit in the VIP stands, casually dressed, listening to their PAP Special Edition iPods.

Speaking of gadgets and computers, I understand that there is help on the way for SMEs to buy original software at discounted prices soon. This is to help lessen the impact of the upcoming tougher copyright law.

Wow, how exciting. Imagine that, SMEs can now stop using their pasar malam copies of Microsoft Office, and buy a second original copy for the office of 10 people. No more sharing one original copy with 10 people. With the discount plan, SMEs can now share TWO original copies with 10 people.

Right now, my colleague, Ah Beng, is laughing with glee, squealing like a little girl, and gloating to all of us that his credit card has been deducted for the black U2 iPod he has ordered. I have never seen a person so happy that Apple has taken a bite from his wallet. The rest of us are staring at our computers, fingers quivering over the keyboard, wondering whether to order it online too. And wondering what excuse we can give our wives.

I would love to buy the new toy, but there is the baby milk powder to think about. Oh, why oh why, didn't I ask the wife to breast-feed all the way?

mr brown is the accidental author of a popular website that has been documenting the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997. He is very happy that Singapore has beaten Iraq and Pakistan in the recent Third Annual World Press Freedom Index conducted by Reporters Without Borders.

A little bit more and we could have beaten Bhutan.