now that i looked at the photos above. it looked as if it's my farewell party. i'm sorry, evan. i'm really sorry. okie, evan is the one in yellow/ purple flowery top. she is going to south under joining the rest there. sigh~ another one bites the degree. i was late last nite, due to work( oh cut the crap). and in fact i was in my white lycra top. thanks to don't-know-what-happen- stains. i had to borrow a t-shirt from terry.

okie from the group photo. standing( from right to left), that's karen, sheenda( i think), dickson, saye, nigel and terry. sitting( from right to left), that's diamond, evan and evonne.

friday night. was suppose to held the party at Wala walas but ended up at RAKU next door. nigel left early 'cos he got a race today. awaiting for his good news. jeremy and gerry came later. had a chit-chat cum catching up session with the rest before headingdown to zouk. it was just plain hopping around zouk, phuture and velvet. and also a long talk with diamond. it was really a nice talk with her. i say, we should engage into this kind of talk more often.

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ate article of MR BROWN.


the thinking soldier

But do not fret, 30-month NSmen, you can always win arguments against the 24-month guys



FINALLY, National Service is six months shorter. All you young 18-year-old men must be really happy. Those of you who will be enlisting before the cut-off date will get to enjoy only a pro-rated reduction in service. Boo hoo. Too freaking bad, who asked you to be born earlier?

There are many advantages to completing your NS earlier, of course. You get to go to university earlier, you get to eat civilian food earlier and, most importantly, you will get first picks on the chicks. The losers who are joining you in university six months after you will get only the leftovers.

You will also have an extra six months to look for a job. Isn't that fun?

The official explanation for the shortening of NS is that the modern army is a leaner, meaner and thinking army. In the past, you would ask eight men to carry the assault boat, now the thinking soldier will call the professional movers to do it, or maybe call in a helicopter.

I remember what it meant to be a grunt soldier in the past. Thinking was not high on the list of skills they looked for. For example, you did something that was not part of the sergeant's instructions and tried to explain yourself: "But I thought …" The sergeant's reply would be: "You thought, you thought. You thought, he think, who confirm?"

You cannot argue with that kind of reply. Thinking too much can lead to another 20 push-ups.

In fact, I reckon most of the time, the thinking soldier of the past had only two thoughts to think: "Today cookhouse, or canteen, for lunch?" and "Is it time to book out?"

One got so used to not thinking that sometimes one tended to follow instructions a tad too blindly. Like when your sergeant wanted you to hustle, he would say: "Walk, gentlemen, walk." We would realise that it meant he wanted us to run faster, not walk.

However, this kind of reverse psychology fell apart when we went to the swimming pool for our lessons. We would be running along the wet edge of a pool and the sergeant would say: "Walk, gentlemen, walk."

Guess what we unthinking soldiers would do? Yes, we would run even faster, run to our slippery deaths. No wonder they needed more men back then, half of them were on MC for broken heads for running along pool sides, just because their sergeant asked them to walk.

The unthinking soldier ate whatever the cookhouse made. I come from that era where food was not catered, like it is now, but cooked in-house. Those fancy Meals-Ready-to-Eat packs you get in the field now, you know, the ones that have meals like Teriyaki Chicken and Italian Pasta?

Not a chance.

Sardines and hard-tack biscuits (or dog biscuits) for you. Did we think that the food was not exactly fit for human consumption? Did we realise that too many dog biscuits would lead to painful movement of bowels? Never crossed our minds.

At the rate we are shortening the NS stint, in future, NS will be six months long only and all you have to do is to think about being a soldier.

Maybe, there will be this cap with wires you wear and for six months they will download all the information you will need to be the soldier of the future, like military tactics, weapons training and how to swear effectively in Hokkien.

The future soldier will also be able to download the punishment into their brains. You screw up, and the sergeant would tell you: "Recruit Lee! Think of 20 push-ups NOW!" Wah, xiong, man.

I think they can download the military stuff quite easily, but I am concerned that the soldier of the future will be rather shortchanged in the Army's swearing training department. It is a skill that will take a lot of time and human interaction to master, and not something a computer can teach you. You need to spend quality time with incompetent people to pick up advanced swearing skills, I feel.

I think this whole shorter NS thing will lead to two distinct groups. The 30-month NSMan and the 24-month NSMan. And when it comes to comparing how terok our stint was (and every NS dude will always think their NS time was the worst), the 30-month guys will always win in arguments.

24-month NSMan: "Wah, they made us run up the Botak Hill five times in Full Battle Order!"

30-month NSMan: "I served six months longer than you."

24-month NSMan: "Wah, we were out in the rain for three days and three nights in our last exercise. Without our ponchos!"

30-month NSMan: "I served 6 months longer than you."

The 30-month NSMan will always win these debates. See? That's not so bad, right? I am glad I made you losers feel better about being born a few months too early. Now, run along and think about how to make the Government shorten the Reservist stint too. Walk, gentlemen, walk.

mr brown is the accidental author of a popular website that has been documenting the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997. He thinks canteen breaks should be longer. Because longer canteen breaks encourage thinking.