my new watch craze

Abacus Wrist Net Watch AU4000
Price $129.00(based on MSN)

shit was the word i uttered this morning at 5+am. and shit was what i do after that. it was quite an experience when you are half-awake and answering a long distance call from mother nature. especially when the call is wet. that's one phrase i read when an issue of playboy mag landed on my bed once.

" what's the most sensational feeling in this world?" Sex? no, it's the feeling when a huge load of shit was bottle-necked at the tip of your anal and it finally came bursting out after a long tug-of-war with it and perspiration. "

pretty gross and dirty you might think. okie~ enough of the dirty talk.

Was late for work today. so decided to take mrt. was reminded of the reason why i don't wanna take mrt to work even it's so convenient to my workplace. cramped and shoulders shrugged. for some reason, my bag slipped and landed on the ground with a loud THUP!!! my camera is inside. OMG!!!(T_T) *boohoohoo~* the viewfinder cracked.

was reading one column(see below) from today. for more info, refer to TODAYLINE. if you can get today's TODAY, on the 1st page that says TODAY Exclusive. this is outrageous. this is weird. there, singapore is searching for sports talent,or rather foreign talents when singapore is not producing enough talents. and china being one of the super-powers in almost everything, one of the highest exports of shoes, clothes( you see more and more " Made in China " nowadays); also exports her sport talents.


i would understand if sportsmen was fined for being rebelious, abusive to judges( like a soccer player kick the referee's ass) or swearing at audiences. but not when they are not performing up to standard or they did not win in the competitions. are you telling me that singapore can't afford their sportsmen to lose? are you telling me when i(singapore) pay a high price for you(china sportsmen), you MUST win for me? are you telling me that they( china sportsmen will only be given singapore citizenship if they won something spectacular in games? this could turn out to be a wrong direction for our own youngsters. this could also jeopardise the relationship between china and singapore. to me, there must be some idiots trying to spoil something what our dear ministers are trying very hard to achieve and maintaining the relationship between the 2 countries.



not exact picture of the 2 athletes mentioned below


".....Athletes pay the price for poor form. TABLE TENNIS queen Li Jiawei and shot put star Du Xianhui are, without doubt, Singapore's most talented China-born athletes. >On their shoulders rest Singapore's hopes of breaking a 44-year medal drought at the Olympics in Athens, slated to take place in two months. But in a shocking turn of events, Today has learnt that both stars, hit by poor form, have been warned by their respective associations to buck up or face the consequences.Today has learnt that Li, 22, was fined $3,000 by the Singapore Table Tennis Association (STTA) in April, after she returned home empty-handed from the World Championship in France....."


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another weekly column of Mr Brown.

Treading gingerly the SMS road of love

The next time you get a weird call from me, it's from my son who is trying to eat the mobile phone

My wife sent me an email the other day containing images of American Idol look-alikes. "Thought you might find this funny. Regards."I was shocked, of course, at the email contents. How could they say that Diana De Garmo looks like Miss Piggy? That is so rude! Oh, wait. I said that too. But I did not use pictures.And the other shock I had was her message. All those years of wedded bliss and she signs off her email with "Regards". So, I sent her an email declaring how upset I was at this insensitive use of words and signed off, "Yours sincerely, bear."Later, I found out it was a forwarded message, so she was not the writer of that email. Just the forwarder. So, I told her it was insensitive to not attach a note of affection with her forwarded email joke, like "Miss Piggy made me think of you."Of course, like all couples with too many SMSes left on their mobile phone plan, we trade SMS text messages throughout the day.Some of these messages are about the mundane things of life, like "Are you picking me up after work?" or "Remember to pick up the pimple cream." Other times, we share our feelings with messages like "Bored", "Busy day at work, v stressed" and "I am full of crap, have not gone to the toilet for many days now".It is important to understand that SMS has no way of communicating emotion. Although if the sender uses a phrase like "You are an ***hole", you can be pretty certain that he is not happy with you. But most times, a message can be interpreted the wrong way.For instance, if your wife asks you if you are picking her up and your reply is "Ok", is that an "Ok" with a smile or an "Ok, if I have to"? And if you reply with just a "K", would she misread it as you being curt and grouchy? Or would she understand that you were in a meeting and trying to reply to her message by typing with your hands and mobile phone under the table, so that your client would not think that you were touching yourself in an inappropriate way?It is a delicate line we walk every day, this SMS Road of Love.My wife has the privilege of inheriting the almost-latest technology in mobile phones most of the time. By that, I mean that she usually ends up with my previous mobile phone after I have upgraded mine to the latest model with the built-in blender-cum-flashlight. She does not really mind, but it does mean that I do a lot of mobile phone technical support after she starts using my old, er, pre-owned, phone.Usually, during the first few days, she will be sending me blank SMSes, or hanging up on my phone calls or putting me on hold when I call her.I also get a lot of phone calls asking me urgent questions like "How do I get a comma in my SMS?" And also a lot of "Your phone is no good one, it is so hard to use."But usually, by the third week, she settles into a groove and figures out most of the functions, by which time, it is time for me to change mobile phones.I had the difficult task of breaking the tragic news to her too, that her "new" mobile phone does not have a built-in camera to take photos of our children. That feature is found in my new one, which will be hers real soon, if she continues to be the good wife that she already is.Camera phones can be so important in this day and age. You want to be ready to capture that special moment when baby learns to crawl, to walk and to yank your hi-fi speaker cables off their sockets.This is so that you can remind your child when he is older, of how much he owes you for bringing him up and for the damaged Xbox and five-speaker surround sound cinema system which he will be paying for in instalments once he starts work.I swear, baby boys are not the same as baby girls. I do not mean that only in the obvious ways of course (yes, I know that girls have longer hair). But while Faith was a sweet child when she was younger (her biggest post-walking crime was pressing the buttons of my LaserDisc player just to see the tray open and close), Isaac is another child altogether.He is now all of seven-and-a-half months. Last week, on Friday, he was still trying to figure out how to crawl. By Saturday, he realised that if he placed his face on the floor and blew out a lot of saliva, then used his legs to push his butt into the air, he could move a few centimetres forward, like a snake. A very tubby snake.By Sunday, he had figured out that if he used his arms and legs, he could drag himself on his tummy and actually move from one end of the hall to the other.By Monday, he was able to move well enough to reach the TV cabinet, to try to get at the DVDs behind the glass doors, then failing which, he decided to crawl to his pram and chew on the dirty wheels for a while.When the novelty of that wore off, he decided to crawl behind the TV cabinet, which is unprotected by inconveniences like glass doors and noticed the wonderful world of wires and cables just waiting there for his pulling pleasure.His face lit up with joy as if he had discovered a cave full of treasure. So that is where Papa keeps all the neat toys!Another thing that is different about him is his interest in cars and TV remotes. Faith had no interest in toy cars and the remote she only enjoyed for the buttons. Isaac on the other hand, not only likes the remote control, he thinks it is good enough to eat. In fact, most things look good enough to eat to him.As for toy cars, nothing makes him laugh harder than seeing the car speed across the living room floor and crashing into the wall.Needless to say, he will not be allowed to drive my car for a long long time. Maybe when he is 50.So, the next time you receive a weird call or SMS from me, it is either my wife trying to use my phone or my son trying to eat it.

mr brown is the accidental author of a popular website that has been documenting the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997. He cannot wait till his son learns to walk.