June 12, 2004
A Box of 101 Roses and .....[ part 2/2]
Singapore True Love Stories - A Box of
101 Roses and ..... [ part 2/2 ]
june reminded me of romance, holidays and money. romance blossomed and romance withered. holidays after a hard-boring exams. money earned from odd-jobs. june means a beginning of a new semester of course in poly. it also means freshmen orientations. i was very involved in TP school activities till the extent it nearly jeopardise my diploma. the last orientation is also my last relationship. yes, the last one which left me single till now. this is probably the most detailed regret that i ever had( refer to archives). detailed 'cos i kept a journal of it. but i will try to write a brief one. yes, this is my love story.
this is part 2 of the story. and happy birthday D, if you found this blog.
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30th April,
Went to sentosa today. it was pouring when we set off from D's house. we could have taken alot of other buses but took 97 instead. the journey was long eventhough the route was the fastest( i think). she was lying in my arms while our cheeks touched for the 1st time. it went on this way till we changed bus at world trade centre.
"maybe later we should act like nothing between us?" i said.
there was a distance from the bustop to sunset bay. we supposed to walk apart as agreed. but she held onto my hand, "still can hold for a while. "*grin* had a few games of beach volleyball. dickson, nigel, hanwei was there too. had dinner at tiong bahru.
"guys, i got to go," i said.
"Me too, i got to go home early," D interrupted.
We made our way fast. hopped on a bus and back to send her home. Our cheeks touched again. D laughed. i asked why. she wondered what's my reaction if we kissed.
25th May,
Finshed writing a card. it was a mark of our 1st month anniversary. it says,
"Since i met you, i've fallen in love with you at least a 100 times for a 100 reasons. sometimes i fall in love with you when i watched you doing something you enjoy, something you're so involved in; that you're unaware of my presence. sometimes i fall in love with you when i listen to you talking to other people; whether you being interesting and funny, warm and caring, genuinely and concern; you have a way of making people feel better with nothing than your words.
Sometime i fall in love with you just thinking of you, remembering all the memories we've made... falling in love for the 1st time with you, staying in love during rough times, finding more to love about each other everyday. and when i think about the wonderful things that lie ahead of us, i fall totally and completely in love with you all over again."
.
..
...
....
time passed quickly. as fast as you are reading now. things changed, a couple of disagreement, quarrels here and there. D said she couldn't commited to a relationship. i was devastated. her words contradicted me, " i will leave you but i don't wanna lose you." i am shocked. too shocked to utter words. all this happened even before the orientation starts. i was just not ready to let go, not ready to accept it. worse still, when both of us are gonna be at the orientation camp.
June came and orientation camp carried on as planned and forecast. she definitely can see me. i was a soundman. a PA guy in front of the bunch of freshies everyday. i could still remembered whenever my head pend from right to left. she will be there, in focus. despite that she's only slightly below 1.5m or she's sitting down. don't ask me why a giant like me doing with an hobbit. it's just love. even the truth that we can't be together, she still dropped SMSes in my hp now and then during the commence of the orientation.
" i am jealous that yvonne is lying on your shoulder."
things getting confused and blurred. but my heart was still with her. and let me tell you, this funny trend of a 1.8m guy, not bad looking (opps), suave with long silky black hair is very attention-seeking. especially at a position where everybody knows you and see you. it's not my fault where you get female GLs crowded around my PA system, female freshies talking to me. it's just not me doing it on purpose. but she did told me she's angry. she's jealous. and it does gave me cheap thrills to make her jealous then. at a time when you were told that you can't be together and the next, she's jealous and unhappy is something that torments me. if those who might have noticed or remembered, i was gloomy on certain days.
Still, i managed to save abit of money to get a present for her since her birthday falls on the 12th june. something which i thought it would be nice for her. a box of 101 roses and a watch. gotta to get it done before my mood dies. got fresh thorns poking, red roses wrapped with newspapers and a watch from hongkong.( thanks vicky for help me to get that watch.) Cut, scissored stalked of roses in a A4 size paper box and the watch in the centre.
Gave her the box with an anomynous identity through a broadcast over the PA system. i heard some kaypoh female GLs cried when D opened the box. everyone was envy of her. but i never gotta taste sweetness in the end. i was scolded for embarassing her in front of her friends.
Our relationship was offically ended with the closing of the orientation. heard she was with another guy by then but broke up shortly. our relationship was abit draggy here and there for the 1st month of breakup. i got calls like, "xiaoqiang... ...... ..... err... nothing." and she hanged up. these types of phone calls went on for a while before we had a last,yet harsh conversation that ends with cries over the phone. it was really the end.
we didn't talked to one another since then though i did received a V'day msg in ICQ in 2001.
the last time i found out from her was from a icq conversation a couple of months ago this year. she was talking to me using another friend's nickname. D was sorry for she has done to me. D said she's probably receiving her retributions all these 3 years. the guys whom she met after we broke off were all jerks and bastards. and whenever things turned bad or they mistreated her, she thought of how badly she treated me. thought of my nice, my concern, my love.
i told D," Things has gone for so long. i'm not holding it against you anymore. so don't feel sorry. and i am happy that you told me. i am also happy for you that you also found another one man who loves you, though not in the same way as i used to. i am glad. be loved. be happy."
the song you hearing now is the song she gave me when we broke up 4 years ago. i'm playing it again after so long to look back. and hey, i've walked this far.
