xiaoqiang says: it's been while that i've last posted a love story. this is yet another story from a friend of mine. minimal edits was done to the story.
some took a month to realise what they want from love. some took 4 years to realise it. some took too long to realise, and youth and time, were what they paid with. i remembered one of my friend told me it's never too late to realise what we want. then i asked him wouldn't it be too late to realise it when you are already 50. 'cos certain things you already can't changed. be glad you realised it now than later.
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"If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."
-Anon.

What is Love? Can it ever be defined? Is Love = Infatuation or are they two independent variables that are often thought to be the same? These are questions I am trying to figure out myself.

I have been through many relationships. I started at a young age of 12. But, these relationships are more for fun and experience. More like a fashion trend and at that time I thought I know what love is. "Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'"
-Erich Fromm .

Even, when it came to my last relationship, I thought I have found love and know exactly what love is. For four and a half years, I was with this guy that I thought I truly love. I thought that he is the one for me; the one I am going to settle down with in future and have a family with. But, in the second half of 2003, cracks started to appear in the relationship and this is when I realised how weak this relationship was. He is definitely not the one for me and in all these years I realised that I do not exactly love him, more of I need him for companionship. It is also during this point of time I learnt what love is.

H is a guy that entered my life on August 2003. He’s someone that everyone would feel comfortable talking with and is a natural live wire. I remembered that he was sitting just beside me and I did not even really take notice of him, as I was busy catching up with my close friends sitting on the other side of me. It is only when we were asked to form project groups, we were lacking of a member so I turned over and asked him. Well… that’s the starting of a beautiful friendship…

At that point my relationship with my boyfriend was still ok. But, as I was getting busier with schoolwork and with the mounting pressures, things began to turn sour. I was facing a lot of pressure from him as well and his possessive streaks were showing more clearly. Juggling work with the relationship was taking a toll on my mental health. I was facing tremendous depression that I have to start taking medication. At that time, I was ashamed of my condition, I thought of myself as a weakling and a failure. My self-esteem went down the slope and I was crying at the slightest things.

There were times that I thought my sanity is gonna break. But, during this period, H was there. He seems to know me well and it was always a great pleasure chatting with him. He is there when I am down; he is there when I need someone to turn to. He is there to lend me a shoulder to cry on. We became close friends and I respect him a lot for his bright outlook of life. Working with him for our projects made me realise how we are so similar in many ways, yet different. Thus, its always a pleasure to work and chat with him as we understand each other perfectly without having to give much explanations.


to be continue......
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