xiaoqiang says: i guess it works the same for a relationship. if the other party was at the right place right time, she/he is the one. i must say, it's must have been a really long time for me to have a crush somebody, so long till i almost forgotten what's a crush. but true enough, this infatuation makes me do silly things. after reading vera's part1 & 2 on crushes, i can't seem to find the exact term to describe mine. but if you asked me to pick one closest, that probably will be Unrealistic Crush. it wasn't long ago that i had a crush on a girl, sometime last year. she's someone who said exactly the same thing as what's inside my head. i was at the wrong place and wrong time.

as promised, below is "a note on crushes, part 2" quote from Miss Vera's blog
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--A Note on Crushes: Part II--

So while some people may absolutely adore crushing, and some others detest it with a vengeance to the point of making it a lifelong hatred, I am perfectly ambivalent towards crushing. It, along with everything else has its good points and its bad points. In all honesty, I sincerely believe that crushing, along with life, is what you make of it. Now some of you who know me may be thinking, "Oh yea right. You? You are the most negative person of all negative persons." Given that yea, perhaps I may seem to be quite of a downer sometimes, but in reality, it is all simply one thing: bitching. And as we all know, girls, myself included, like to bitch off and on. It's what keeps us sane with having to deal with all the things that boys get into, or get us into *wink*.

So moving back on topic, crushing, is pretty based on one's personal insight on life. While I may complain the hell out of various things, they probably aren't as bad as they seem, and if they really were, I wouldn't continue to do such insanely things correct? I am Pavlov's dog, trust me on this one. So crushing to me, tends to start off with a positive side, and there really are quite a few upbeats on this course of action, believe you me.

For one, there is always the possibility of having it work out to be a full-fledged hearty relationship, one that everyone will come to know and love (lots of
<3 <3 <3 on this one). Other possibilities include thinking about how wonderful your life will be to have this one crush notice you, and to think up of the ways to get the crush to notice you. It's a giggly (for girls) and a macho-istic (for guys) scheme that gets the bubbly feeling flowing like Mt. Saint Helens. There is that brief jump of excitement when the phone rings, or when the crush picks up and answers with his/her so-sexy (to you) "Hello?", whether or not you decide to slam down the phone as soon as you hear his/her voice. In addition, there is always that wondering and positive hope of when you might next see your crush and how good you will look (or for some, how good you should look, but that's just bordering on the Stalker Crush *wink*

I'm every woman, it's all in me..
-Chaka Khan, "I'm Every Woman"

So with everything in life, there has to be balance to all things, including crushing. Yes, there is the possibility that the crush could end up to be a situation of unrequited (not to mention endless) love that can be uber depressing. The crush could secretly be despising the idea of having a crusher, or to be more specific, having you as a crusher. You might not have a chance at all, and here you are wasting your time on someone who may or may not work out (but I have to wonder though, if you are thinking like this, are you even worth the status of being a crusher?). There could be the sad possibility that your crush is unavailable, that your crush might possibly be crushing on someone else, or even worse, that person could in turn, have a crush on you! Argh! The agony of love triangles! It's enough to kill you and drive you insane...

or is it?

"Never leave you behind,
or treat you unkind,
I'll know you'll understand.

And the tear in my eye,
is the sweetest goodbye,
that I ever ever did receive..."
-Maroon 5, "Sweetest Goodbye"

I find it highly ironic (and seemingly hypocritical) to hear some individuals tell me that happiness is a state of mind, and yet turn around on the topic of crushing or basically any topic whatsoever and say something along the lines of:

"Ah but it has to be acted upon otherwise it is depressingly negative."
"Unless you go after your crush with a plan of action, it is only a hopeless case of sad wondering..."

:P It's funny how if you listen enough, you can find a lot of self-jinxes in the words that people say. Of course, this only occurs if they are lying through your teeth, and they lose track of their lies - something that I have found that most people do quite easily. Or if they are trying to prove something to the world, as if they are the experts of love and devotion. And on crushes.

So basically, crushing is how you look at it. You can make it fun, a nice little hobby to enjoy while you scour the field of potentials. There will be downfalls, but there will be the wonderful highs that come along with it as well. You can either sit and pout that your glue is going all over the floor, or you can reflect on how kick-ass your art project is going. Do as you wish, either way will probably make you happiest. Who's to say that cynic/depressive maniac doesn't find joy in bitching about how crushing is a saddening madness gone even more awry? They just might! It wouldn't do to say that one perspective dominates the other. Just like it wouldn't do to say that someone who bitches a lot is a depressive pessimist, because sometimes you just. don't. know.

You take me as I am,
Eventhough my fam don't understand
Why I put that rock upon your hand.
That's cuz you take me as I am."
-Wyclef Jean, "Take Me As I Am"

So go ahead and crush a little. It can't hurt that much to give a try now and then; it's what makes life interesting. Plus, you can only do this for one short period in your life. Once you get seriously attached and *shock* married, there's no room for crushing (except for your one-and-only of course). Enjoy it, enjoy the attention, enjoy giving the attention, and who knows, maybe one day you'll be glad you did what you did when you did it. *wink* It might just turn out to be what you were looking for after all.
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