OCTOBER RAIN

currently playing Guns 'n' Roses ~ November Rain

This october'03 is the 1st october i gonna spend with a new feel . Oct usually shakes me when exams were around the corner. Everyday drowning with books, textbooks, lecture notes...bla bla bla.. much of the time, my mind was on something else even my eyes is on the papers. i dare to say i am not a bright child nor a hardworking one. but i dare to say i am intellectual and smart, in a way. 'Cos whether i studied for the paper or not, it's always a pass.. borderlines, distinctions... you name it i got it. i saying this is not to boast about my ego or whatsoever. but to tell others that it's not difficult to study. it's about the effort and attitude towards it. i don't believe in stupid people. i only believe in lazy people. likewise that, there's no ugly people, there's only lazy people.

but there's one Oct syndrome that never fail to cast its spell on me every year. ever since the year, i am aware of such thing call love. i'm not sure if it occurs to you as well. it occurs to me in Oct. some weird feelings and it's really strong when the exams drew near. it never struck me during mid year exams in april or may. but it specifically pin-point directly at me in OCt. i'm getting it this year since so many couples around me. not that strong compared to school days but i'm awared of its existence. it's like someone standing behind you. i'm sure what is going on but still i prefer to take it lightly. and the funny thing is everyone denied the fact i have no GF. i wasn't lying~*sob* ( oh~ sound so drama). i have this lovely friend that says my face don't look "single" duh~ i do admit i have PLENTY and PLENTY of female friends...

Still, this syndrome still haunts me. today i have a colleague who's having a headache since 1-2 weeks. and he's quite ponder over it. He did worried that what is going on in his head. Upon advise from many, he did went for the necessary checkups and waiting for his results. other colleagues came over and offer their advise, their comments and even their ways of easing the pain. i also noticed his gf who's just a partition away from me, looking helplessly at him for a while. if i were in her shoes, i probably be the same. thinking out of my wits, helplessly looking at him. feeling the same pain, not in the head but in the heart as well. is there anything i can do to ease the pain? have you ever trapped in a situation you wanna do something for your loved ones but you can't. it's not you refuse but it's really out of your power perimeter.

how would you feel?