Met an old friend today. She curiously mentioned that i've become gentlemanly. Was i that bad, lousy, cold in poly days? Frankly speaking, we haven't seen each other for more than maybe a year or 2. Our conversations were usually thru smses or msn. Wanted to write all this for a long time. Just as i wonder technology has brought us closer, it also drift people apart unknownly.

The I-Generation, some call it has invented a new communication means which our young generations has been using to communicate with their friends, families and making new friends. Everyone talks about emails, Google, cellphones, Friendster, MSN mesenger, 3G, etc. Peoples' emotions were transcript into emoticons, smileys or put the simple smiling muscles on your face into " :)" . Perhaps that's why Nokia has their tagline, Human Technolgy. Even work were corresponded over emails.

Lacking the human touch, are we victims of the E-World when our lifestyle so much depend on it? Maybe you can ask someone around to name the Top 5 things she/ he will press the panic button when she/ he lost them. Bet one of them is the cellphone.

Living in this I-Gen, i still like the one-to one conversation over a coffee or something. Don't like webcam either. Though it offers quick response from peer to peer, Internet still can't give the satisfaction of the 5 senses - sight, hear, smell, touch and voice. It can only offer visuals with sights and sounds, also not forgeting Internet telephony (VoIP) network where free voice or video conferencing.

August was a stressful, depressing, uncertainty month. Where alot of things happened had me tasted the meaning of " you never know what's gonna happen in the future". I never like suspension. Long waiting shivers my spine. Empty talks also bores me. Once, again the lightning with negative charge struck me hard.

Late last year, I was told that i am going to lose someone very dear to me in a matter of time. She was diagnosed with kidney failure. Transplant was out of question - weak heart. Nornal dialysis( both blood or water) were also not in the checklist. Put it bluntly, she's left to die with her knowledge that her days are numbered. I can never imagine how i would react when someone announced that to me.

Day by day, toxin level can be controlled by medicine. But to only a certain extent. Other parts of the organs are showing signs of failing including the weaken heart. She still managed to talk to me and laughing with me when she was admited into hospital. I was talking to her over 3G technology for a while too minus the touch. There were both tears of sadness and joy. To me, her life have been very hard and strong. Not to mention that she already watched her husbands died before her.

It was then, i felt that there's nothing worth to fight for in life. No point working so hard to earn a living, an recognition, a degree, etc.Why bother? Everyone will die anyway. Just a matter of time. We are waiting for death the very second we are born into this world.

Just waiting.

Don't worry, suicide is the word created for idiots. I'm smart.

But I will not wait endlessly. It's my life. We only live once and it has to be worthwhile. I want to be happy waiting and experience life. I will not succumb to any difficulties or obstacles. I'll will strive to live the way i want. Making choices that allow me to experience life within the time limits. Life is a wonderful thing which i think probably one of the wonderful things that the-being-some-call-up-there gave.

By the-being-some-call-up-there terms. The-being-some-call-up-there has sent the-being-some-call-up-there's followers to her. She must have found happiness. It's is a bliss. Though it will still be a draggy, painful journey, perhaps she will be lead to a place they call heaven. Her husbands waiting for her patiently. Perhaps they can stroll down the beach that they never get to do it before. Perhaps they can embrace sunset in each other arms that they never get to do it before. Perhaps they can count the stars of the Milky Way that they never get to do it before.

I really hope.

I sincerely apologise if you began to feel negatively about things in life after reading this post. But i do hope that you will pick up yourself again. Not now maybe. But not too late. Do something. Talk to a friend. Take a stroll. Play a game. Read a book. Forget about alcohol and drugs, they only worsen the situation.

Remember, be happy.

Lyrics:

Over the sea and far away
She's waiting like an Iceberg
Waiting to change,
But she's cold inside
She wants to be like
the water,

All the muscles tighten in her face
Buries her soul in one embrace
They're one and the same
Just like water

Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world
to me

On comes the panic light
Holding on with fingers
and feelings alike
But the time has come
To move along

Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world

Can you help me?
Can you let me go
And can you still love me
When you can't see me anymore

Then the fire fades away
most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world
Ohh.... the other side of the world
You're.... the other side of the world
To me.

Came across this clip on youtube. Click here if you can't see the clip.

Found this remix of "James Blunt 's You're Beautiful ". Maybe it's been there for quite a while . But sometimes you really need this kind of laughing gas to smoke the monday morning. Got the lyrics below too.

Click cubicle">here to listen. Compliments from MorningSidekick.

“My Cubicle”

Lyrics by: Morning Sidekick
Performed by: Jym Britton
Parody on “You’re Beautiful” by James Blunt

Cube FarmMy job is stupid my day’s a bore,
Inside this office from eight to four
Nothin’ ever happens my life is pretty bland,
Pretending that I’m working, pray I don’t get canned.

My Cubicle, My cubicle
It’s One of Sixty two
It’s my small space in a crowded place
Just a six-by-six foot booth
And I hate it that’s the truth

When I give a sigh as the boss walks by,
no one ever talks to me or looks me in the eye.
And I really should work but instead I just sit here and surf the Internet.

In My Cubicle, My cubicle
It doesn’t have a view.
It’s my small space in a crowded place
I sit in solitude.
And sometimes I sit here nude.