Something to kick off a dull monday. Got this from an email. This is hilarious. Hmm..maybean Englishman could not construct sentences using numeric, which is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans.

Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with...

1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me,so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him.

10 God he run away.

So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I
call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asks me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

Saw this very interesting article in TODAY newspaper today, 13th July 2006 issue. Tiny Vanuatu is the happiest country in the world, Singapore the unhappiest in Asia, says new report

LONDON - Vanuatu, a tiny South Pacific Ocean archipelago with a population of around 200,000, is the happiest country on Earth, while Zimbabwe is the unhappiest, according to a study published yesterday measuring people’s wellbeing and their impact on the environment. Among the Asian nations Vietnam came highest at number 12 and Singapore was ranked lowest at 131, said the 178-country Happy Planet Index, compiled by the British think-tank New Economics Foundation (NEF).

Colombia, Costa Rica, Dominica and Panama completed the top five in the world, it said. African countries along with Zimbabwe made up seven of the bottom 10. The Group of Eight industrial powers meet in Russia this weekend but have not much to smile about, according to the index.

Italy came out best in 66th place, ahead of Germany (81), Japan (95), Britain (108), Canada (111), France (129), the United States (150) and Russia, in lowly 172nd place. The index attempts to measure how well countries use their resources to deliver longer lives, greater physical well-being and satisfaction.

Mr Andrew Simms, NEF’s policy director,said the index addresses the relative success or failure of countries in givingtheir citizens a good life while respecting the environmental resource limits on which all our lives depend.

So what is Vanuatu’s secret?

Don’t tell too many people, please, said Mr Marke Lowen of Vanuatu Online, the island republic’s online newspaper. People are generally happy here because they are very satisfied with very little, he told The Guardian. This is not a consumer-driven society. Life here is about community and family and goodwill to other people. It’s a place where you don’t worry too much. The only things we fear are cyclones or earthquakes.



Selected others:
17. Philippines;
23. Indonesia;
31. China;
32. Thailand;
44. Malaysia;
62. India;
64. Iceland;
70. Netherlands;
87. Spain;
88. Hong Kong;
89. Saudi Arabia;
99. Denmark;
112. Pakistan;
115. Norway;
119. Sweden;
123. Finland;
139. Australia;
154. UAE;
156. South Africa;
159. Kuwait;
166. Qatar.

The full Happy Planet Index is available at www.happyplanetindex.org.






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Xiaoqiang: " Wah Uncle, now taxi fare go up. you all shiok lah."

Taxi Driver: " Shiok your head. Now don't know got business anot?"

Xiaoqiang: " I not your 1st customer rite~...Why leh, now increase fare you all got more money mah."

Taxi Driver: " Ya we got more money, but people now see fare increase, all siam( avoid in hokkien context) taxi like siam the auntie at kopitiam with shio zui( hot water in hokkien context)." All cramped at bus stop. I see liao also sian."

Xiaoqiang: " Hahaha... Lai Shio..Shio Zui ah...Shio."

Taxi Driver: " Correct mah, they say increase then increase.. must be those who never take taxi one say increase.. ho mia( well-to-do in hokkien context) got people drive here, drive there or drive their own car. Like smoking ban in July like that.. also those who never smoke then ban smoking at kopitiam. #$%^*&! Now i cannot bang sim( rest my heart in hokkien context) smoke and lim kopi( drink coffee in hokkien context)."

Xiaoqiang: " that one i don't know. Aiya.. people also because of your health mah. smoke less lah. The most put a yellow box at one corner to smoke lah, no cigarettes can buy from the mama shop at the corner. Hahahah... Now Mama shop must be good business."

Taxi Driver:" Ah di, no racist joke ah. You in my cab, you don't racist ah. We lacial(racial) harmony country, ok. National Day coming liao, you don't anyhow say ah."

Xiaoqiang: " I apologised. ayy.. uncle, people say we are the most unhappy people in asia leh."

Taxi Driver:" Of cos lah, you when wake up neber worry??? Gin na( Children in hokkien context) worry about their studies, spelling. Your lao pek lao bu( mum and dad in hokkien context) worry about water bills, electrcity bills. you worry about this bloody traffic jam how long and my meter diam diam tiao( keep going up in hokkien context). Where got happy??"

Xiaoqiang: " Wah lao... Meter tiao again."

Get prepared for the 7th lunar month this year... with a little appetiser before it comes. Also for those Jia Ga or Gan Dang.. It's a leap month for the 7th month this year i.e. 2 months instead of the traditional one.



(WOOooooooo....*scary sound*)



When I was young, I lived in a deserted kampong deep in the jungle. Every night, my mother would ask me not to go home too late as there won't be any transportation after a certain time.



One night, before going home, I ta pao a kueh teow soup for supper. I was late and I waited for the taxi/bus but there was none. I was getting worried as the night was getting darker and darker. So I tried to flag down private vehicles to take me home. There was no one stopping for me, till one motorcyclist took compensation on me and stopped to give me a lift. He was a man with a kind face. I accepted his offer and got onto his motorbike. On the way home, we would pass by a temple. At night, the temple would look eerily spooky with the dim lights from the candles.



At first, the motorcyclist was warm and friendly. When the temple was approaching, the motorcyclist eyes grown bigger and bigger. His kind face turned to a face of anger. He was muttering something loud but was not audible to me. I was so scared that I closed my eyes in order not to see his angry face. Then, the motorcylist stopped in front of the temple and then yelled at me.



















"Your kueh teow soup is so hot!! It is burning my thigh! Can you please move it away???"





- The saddest picture i ever received -